I should have realized you would never there for me.......................Ever

Well, dad the anniversary of your death is coming up; again.

I don't know why I ever thought that you were ever going to be there for me.  I am so stupid.  And when douche bag came into our lives she enjoyed way too much making me feel like shit.  It's her hobby.  She is so evil; worse then Shelia or Nancy put together.  I can not believe that you were so desperate. Really dad ?????

I wish so often that I have gone with going into Foster care no matter how bad people told me it would be.  Or run away during all those flights.  God I am so stupid.  I actually thought that you would at the very less give a damn about me.  I have no father and I am an only child. 
Just when I needed you the most you showed that you could care less.  You let your present cunt make it so I could not get a higher education.  Not my dad.  Hell no!!
 
 I needed you when I was told to meet the manager Mike at the Sands Inn at midnight or I wouldn't have a job anymore.  Where were you ???  Oh, yeah You told me to do what ever it takes to keep that job.

Gee dad just because you had no problem sleeping around didn't mean that I didn't.

 WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Where you after I moved down to Joplin and tried killing myself..........???  I even tried to hang myself in the closet.  But shit it never took.  I guess God just doesn't want me either.

 You know after I finally broke the silence of what happened to me in Muscatine I thought I would have felt relief like a big boulder would had been taken off my shoulder.  But NO !!!!!!!!!!! Never happened and nobody cares.